Developing Positive Relationships with Parents
Developing positive relationships with parents and/or caregivers is beneficial to both your students’ learning and your
own teacher well-being. Thus we strongly suggest welcoming parents and/or caregivers into your classroom, and
into the school community as a whole.
Parents and/or caregivers, as Stevenson (1998 cited in Marsh 2000, p224-225) explains, ‘possess a variety of skills,
talents and interests that can enrich the curriculum in so many ways beyond the capabilities of any one classroom teacher’. Thus in maximising student learning outcomes, parents and/or caregivers play a crucial role. Inviting
parents and/or caregivers into your classroom enables you to provide students with unparalleled learning opportunities and experiences.
In addition, inviting parents and/or caregivers into your classroom enables you to connect with and build positive
relationships with them. These relationships are critical to better understanding and catering to your students
needs, as parents and/or caregivers are able to provide you with valuable insights about their children , which then enables you to better know and understand each individual student.
As mentioned above, building positive relationships with parents and/or caregivers is beneficial to your own teacher
well-being. For involving parents and/or caregivers in your classroom and in the wider school community, as Marsh
(2000, p225) details, enables them to ‘understand the complexities of the teaching roles and structures. Thus they are better able to understand some of the many challenges that teachers face today, and thus be more willing to support you and the school as a whole (Marsh 2000).
As a beginning teacher starting employment in a new school, we suggest sending a ‘Welcome’ letter home to parents to open the lines of communication, whilst also providing an opportunity for you to introduce yourself. We suggest
that you tell them a little about yourself and your teaching philosophy, and let them know they are a valued part of the classroom community. In addition, we suggest that you give them an e-mail address so they can contact you, and your available consultation times should they want to book a meeting with you. As Peralta (2005, p158-N) identifies, by giving parents your email address and requiring them to book appointment times to see you, ‘you will be able to organise your thoughts and will be less likely to be caught off guard’. Additionally, as the NSW DEC (2012) explains, in developing a relationship with parents it is also beneficial to ask them what their preference is for you to communicate with them; whether it be through email, phone, or perhaps through a translator. Should you require a translator, you can use the NSW DEC Telephone Interpreting Service, available by phoning 131 450.
Communication itself underpins positive teacher-parent relationships. Effective teacher-parent communication, as Howe and Simmons (2005, pp16-17) explain, must be:
1. Open
2. Honest
3. Clear and specific
4. Professional
5. Focused on solving problems
6. Confidential.
Additionally, communication must be consistent and regular. We have found, as has Marsh (2000), that the use of home-school notebooks is an effective way to do this. This involves every student having a diary in which you can write messages to their parents and/or caregivers. At the end of the day students take their diary home and give it to their parents and/ or caregivers, and they then write messages in return. Yet one cannot assume that all parents can read and write English, so the use of home-school notebooks may not be appropriate in all situations, and as such you will need to use your professional judgement to determine if this is an appropriate method for you and your class.
In communicating with parents, it is important that you are focusing on both the positive and negative aspects of their child’s learning; that is, you should focus on what their child can and is doing as opposed to solely what they cannot
or are not doing. Howe and Simmons (2005, p15) explain how such communication regarding student success ‘creates a feeling of competence for all concerned and helps solidify the teacher-parent alliance’. Sending home positive messages can be quick and simple, and not only seeks to motivate students, but also stops you feeling as though you are correcting students all day. Below is a template that Thompson (2007, p67) suggests is useful to send positive messages home to parents, which you could use as is, or adapt to your liking.
To the Parents/Guardians of
__________________________________________________________
I am writing to let you know how pleased I am with your child’s
recent success in my class. You
will be proud to know that
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
I know you are as proud of this effort and achievement as I
am. Thank you for your support.
Sincerely,
______________________
It is almost inevitable that at some point throughout your teaching career, that you will have differences of opinions with parents and/or caregivers about what is in the best interests, whether academically, socially or emotionally, of their child. Firstly, in resolving such conflict, it is essential to ‘begin with the premise that parents have the right and the responsibility to be involved in their child’s education’ (Tingley 2007, p34). As such, value and respect their
opinions. Secondly, as Thompson (2007, p80) explains, ‘intervene early’; don’t ignore the issue and hope it will
resolve itself and go away. Thirdly, and most importantly, work with parents, not against them, to negotiate a resolution that works for you both, and for their child.
In working out a resolution, Thomson (2007) suggests keeping in mind the following tips;
- Listen to what parents/caregivers have to say and don’t interrupt them
- Often a misunderstanding is at the heart of the problem, so ask questions about specific details so you can clear up any confusion
- Restate the problem/issue so that the parent/caregiver knows that you understand. For example, “I think your saying….”
- Explain your viewpoint as objectively as you can
- Make it clear that you want to work with the parents/caregiver and have their child’s best interests at heart.
Whilst we vehemently suggest trying to negotiate such resolutions directly with parents yourself, where a resolution
cannot be reached, we suggest referring the matter to your Supervisor to seek their advice and guidance.
References:
Howe, F & Simmons, BJ 2005,‘Nurturing the Parent-Teacher Alliance’, Phi Delta Kappa Fastbacks, no.533, pp1-2,
7-41.
Marsh, C 2000, Handbook for Beginning Teachers, 2nd edn, Pearson Education, Frenchs Forest, NSW.
NSW DEC (New South Wales Department of Education and Communities) 2012, accessed 7/10/2012,
http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au.
Peralta, A 2005, ‘Dealing With Parents Within the Profession’, Childhood Education, vol.81, no.3, pp158N-158P.
Thompson, JG 2007, The First-Year Teacher’s Survival Guide: Ready-to-use Strategies, Tools & Activities for Meeting the Challenges of Each School Day, Jossey-Bass, San Francisco.
Tingley, S 2007, ‘Working With Difficult Parents’, School Administrator, vol.64, no.1, p34.
own teacher well-being. Thus we strongly suggest welcoming parents and/or caregivers into your classroom, and
into the school community as a whole.
Parents and/or caregivers, as Stevenson (1998 cited in Marsh 2000, p224-225) explains, ‘possess a variety of skills,
talents and interests that can enrich the curriculum in so many ways beyond the capabilities of any one classroom teacher’. Thus in maximising student learning outcomes, parents and/or caregivers play a crucial role. Inviting
parents and/or caregivers into your classroom enables you to provide students with unparalleled learning opportunities and experiences.
In addition, inviting parents and/or caregivers into your classroom enables you to connect with and build positive
relationships with them. These relationships are critical to better understanding and catering to your students
needs, as parents and/or caregivers are able to provide you with valuable insights about their children , which then enables you to better know and understand each individual student.
As mentioned above, building positive relationships with parents and/or caregivers is beneficial to your own teacher
well-being. For involving parents and/or caregivers in your classroom and in the wider school community, as Marsh
(2000, p225) details, enables them to ‘understand the complexities of the teaching roles and structures. Thus they are better able to understand some of the many challenges that teachers face today, and thus be more willing to support you and the school as a whole (Marsh 2000).
As a beginning teacher starting employment in a new school, we suggest sending a ‘Welcome’ letter home to parents to open the lines of communication, whilst also providing an opportunity for you to introduce yourself. We suggest
that you tell them a little about yourself and your teaching philosophy, and let them know they are a valued part of the classroom community. In addition, we suggest that you give them an e-mail address so they can contact you, and your available consultation times should they want to book a meeting with you. As Peralta (2005, p158-N) identifies, by giving parents your email address and requiring them to book appointment times to see you, ‘you will be able to organise your thoughts and will be less likely to be caught off guard’. Additionally, as the NSW DEC (2012) explains, in developing a relationship with parents it is also beneficial to ask them what their preference is for you to communicate with them; whether it be through email, phone, or perhaps through a translator. Should you require a translator, you can use the NSW DEC Telephone Interpreting Service, available by phoning 131 450.
Communication itself underpins positive teacher-parent relationships. Effective teacher-parent communication, as Howe and Simmons (2005, pp16-17) explain, must be:
1. Open
2. Honest
3. Clear and specific
4. Professional
5. Focused on solving problems
6. Confidential.
Additionally, communication must be consistent and regular. We have found, as has Marsh (2000), that the use of home-school notebooks is an effective way to do this. This involves every student having a diary in which you can write messages to their parents and/or caregivers. At the end of the day students take their diary home and give it to their parents and/ or caregivers, and they then write messages in return. Yet one cannot assume that all parents can read and write English, so the use of home-school notebooks may not be appropriate in all situations, and as such you will need to use your professional judgement to determine if this is an appropriate method for you and your class.
In communicating with parents, it is important that you are focusing on both the positive and negative aspects of their child’s learning; that is, you should focus on what their child can and is doing as opposed to solely what they cannot
or are not doing. Howe and Simmons (2005, p15) explain how such communication regarding student success ‘creates a feeling of competence for all concerned and helps solidify the teacher-parent alliance’. Sending home positive messages can be quick and simple, and not only seeks to motivate students, but also stops you feeling as though you are correcting students all day. Below is a template that Thompson (2007, p67) suggests is useful to send positive messages home to parents, which you could use as is, or adapt to your liking.
To the Parents/Guardians of
__________________________________________________________
I am writing to let you know how pleased I am with your child’s
recent success in my class. You
will be proud to know that
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
I know you are as proud of this effort and achievement as I
am. Thank you for your support.
Sincerely,
______________________
It is almost inevitable that at some point throughout your teaching career, that you will have differences of opinions with parents and/or caregivers about what is in the best interests, whether academically, socially or emotionally, of their child. Firstly, in resolving such conflict, it is essential to ‘begin with the premise that parents have the right and the responsibility to be involved in their child’s education’ (Tingley 2007, p34). As such, value and respect their
opinions. Secondly, as Thompson (2007, p80) explains, ‘intervene early’; don’t ignore the issue and hope it will
resolve itself and go away. Thirdly, and most importantly, work with parents, not against them, to negotiate a resolution that works for you both, and for their child.
In working out a resolution, Thomson (2007) suggests keeping in mind the following tips;
- Listen to what parents/caregivers have to say and don’t interrupt them
- Often a misunderstanding is at the heart of the problem, so ask questions about specific details so you can clear up any confusion
- Restate the problem/issue so that the parent/caregiver knows that you understand. For example, “I think your saying….”
- Explain your viewpoint as objectively as you can
- Make it clear that you want to work with the parents/caregiver and have their child’s best interests at heart.
Whilst we vehemently suggest trying to negotiate such resolutions directly with parents yourself, where a resolution
cannot be reached, we suggest referring the matter to your Supervisor to seek their advice and guidance.
References:
Howe, F & Simmons, BJ 2005,‘Nurturing the Parent-Teacher Alliance’, Phi Delta Kappa Fastbacks, no.533, pp1-2,
7-41.
Marsh, C 2000, Handbook for Beginning Teachers, 2nd edn, Pearson Education, Frenchs Forest, NSW.
NSW DEC (New South Wales Department of Education and Communities) 2012, accessed 7/10/2012,
http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au.
Peralta, A 2005, ‘Dealing With Parents Within the Profession’, Childhood Education, vol.81, no.3, pp158N-158P.
Thompson, JG 2007, The First-Year Teacher’s Survival Guide: Ready-to-use Strategies, Tools & Activities for Meeting the Challenges of Each School Day, Jossey-Bass, San Francisco.
Tingley, S 2007, ‘Working With Difficult Parents’, School Administrator, vol.64, no.1, p34.